Today’s article is going to be about conflict. I know it is getting really close to Christmas and we should be talking about all that is peaceful and good and we should avoid conflict completely, but with all the getting together with relatives that you don’t particularly care for and all of the added tension that the holidays bring, there will be added conflict. What I want to do today is give you a Biblically based and very sound way of how to deal with conflict.
It comes from Matthew 18:15-17 which reads, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Now, the thing about all this is that there is an overriding factor called love. Jesus tells us to “love your neighbor as yourself.” If love is not the motivation of the action laid out in these verses, it will never work. You will be seen by your brother as someone who is judging him, someone who hates him, or someone who is out to get him. The motivation has to be love.
If you go to your brother with hatred and/or anger in your heart against him you will not have healing but will only cause more bitterness and conflict. On the other hand, if you go to your brother out of love and compassion for him wanting only what is best for him, the outcome will be much different. Love always thinks of the other person first.
When we talk about these actions laid out in these verses we must also know that they must be carried out in humility with gentleness and respect. Jesus tells us that we must first take the plank out of our own eye, before we should even try to take the speck out of our brother’s eye. This means that we always need to confess our own sins first. Saying “I’m sorry” for what you did or said first will make all the difference. If you go thinking that you are totally in the right and he is totally in the wrong, as the Bible says, “If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” We must always be willing to admit our own faults first.
The last thing to remember is forgiveness. In the Lord’s Prayer we ask God to forgive us our sins (trespasses) as we forgive those who sin against us. In essence, we are saying that we want God to forgive us as much as we forgive others. Do you want God to only forgive you for some of the times you have sinned? Do you want him to forgive you only after you have paid the price for your sins? Do you want him to make you suffer for what you did? Well, then why would you make others suffer, withhold forgiveness, or treat your brother any differently than God treats you? The disciples asked Jesus, “How many times should we forgive our brother, seven times?” Jesus answered, I tell you not seven times, but seventy times seven times.”
In this season, we must always remember why Christ came to earth in the first place. It was to forgive sinners. It was to break down the dividing wall of hostility between us and God. It was to get rid of the conflict that sin put between us and God. Christ became our mediator, he became our sacrifice, he became our redeemer so that the conflict would be resolved. And it was! Praise God that he sent His Son, Jesus Christ to resolve our conflict. Praise God that he has given us good rules to follow in resolving our conflicts with each other. Praise God that we are redeemed sinners forgiven by Christ!
