Life in Perspective: Put meaning in forgiveness

Today we talk about the fourth "G" in matters of reconciliation. This fourth "G" is for "Go and be reconciled."

During a worship service, after the members of the congregation confessed their sins, their pastor declared, "As a called and ordained servant of the word, I announce to you that God says, 'That's OK. Don't worry about it. You should be sorry. Don't ever do it again. I forgive you, but I don't want to have anything to do with you again."

The people couldn't believe their ears. He continued, "What's the matter? Isn't that the way that you answer others who tell you they're sorry? But you don't expect God to forgive you that way. Why not?"Is this the way God forgives us? Does he tell us that he wants nothing to do with us ever again? Does he remember our failures and shortcomings all the time and hold them against us? Does he shove our face in the dirt after we have come to him on our knees? Or does he lift us up with his forgiveness and peace?

Do you want real and true reconciliation in your relationships, or do you just want to feel better about yourself and get your own conscience clear? Do you want to have a relationship restored or do you just want to make the other person suffer for as long as possible? If we want true and real reconciliation, we need to be ready to forgive as God has forgiven us. What does that look like?

Well, when you forgive someone of their sins, you can promise the following things to them:
I promise I will not dwell on the incident.
I promise I will not bring this incident up and use it against you.
I promise I will not talk to others about this incident.
I promise I will not allow this incident to stand between us or our relationship.

If you can't do these things, then maybe you need to go back to the second "G," which is getting the log out of your own eye. If you can't truly forgive someone, it's not the other person's fault, it's your own.

The next question that usually comes up is: When should I forgive? Maybe a better question to ask is, when does God forgive us? According to his word, God forgives us before we know him, before we confess, before we repent. In fact, he forgives us while we are yet sinners, while we are still his enemies.

As Christians, we need to be forgiving people. We need to forgive people before they even sin against us. We need to forgive for our own sakes, for the other person's sake, but especially for Christ's sake, so that he may be praised.

Sometimes we may not immediately announce that forgiveness, though. We may first need to help the other person understand how he caused offense so that he can repent and believe in the forgiveness that is his. This prepares a person to receive the gift of forgiveness that has already been won by Christ.

Again, when we look at this fourth "G," we see it as having Christ at the front and center. He is not just our model but he is the one who makes true reconciliation happen. If it wasn't for his forgiveness won on the cross, we wouldn't be able to forgive others.

To me this has become a lost art. It is something that I have so often failed at. It is something that is foreign even to me as a pastor. If I have been hurt, I want to hurt back. If my reputation has been ruined, I want to ruin the other person's reputation as well. If I want to get my way and make the other person do what I want them to do, there is no better leverage than a past sin. As sinful human beings, these are the things that we hold on to.

Jesus' disciples asked him, "How many times should we forgive our brother who sins against us, seven times?" Jesus replied. "Not seven times but 70 times seven times."

Isn't it wonderful that, no matter how much we sin, our Lord Jesus forgives us? No matter how stupid we are and no matter how many times we slip back into our old ways, our Lord Jesus still died on the cross for us.

As you finish up your Lenten season and look forward to Easter, look to that cross for the answers, look to the Lord Jesus who has saved you from your sins.



The Rev. Jeremy Klaustermeier is pastor at St. John's Lutheran Church in Warrenton. He writes a column about religious matters for the Journal.